The Bachelor, Offspring, The Block, Married at First Sight…. Agggghhhh! There’s too much good TV on at the moment! What to watch now, what to record for later, do I NineNow for tomorrow while I’m sorting washing or Ten Play? Decisions, decisions!! And don’t even get me started on the shows that are on Netflix or the other shows such as Survivor, that are currently on but I haven’t even started watching because I am too scared to get addicted to those too! Did I see a new one called Doctor Doctor staring Rodger Corser??? Saweet!!!
It has suddenly occurred to me that this Winter (ok so it’s spilled into Spring now) television has become a huge part of my life. It has become my social life, only without the socialising, unless you can count squealing at Nina “noooooo don’t walk away from him, pursue, pursue! He’s a real man, Patrick’s a ghost!!”
Or perhaps I can count the social texting between me and my TV show bestie during the ads as we analyse what just happened between couples on Married at First Sight. So team Bella and Michael so far! #Soulmates! What the heck was the deal with that douchebag Dave! TOOL! He needs to have a good hard look at himself.
Oh and there is also the social media posting that goes on during the rose ceremony as we all try to guess whose going home (bye bye Faith!) so I guess that’s being social in a way isn’t it?
The shows have started to become so important to me that I think about them all day and when night time comes it starts to affect my good mothering skills!
Let me paint you a picture…
It’s Wednesday night and it’s 6pm. We are sitting down eating dinner and I’m already getting anxious about the time, the 7.30pm Bachelor/Block deadline is nearing.
Then of course, Penny decides dinner is going to be like a fricking marathon event, where she inspects each mouthful making sure no little pieces of corn or peas have snuck into the chicken pie that’s currently balancing on her spoon. Then Bella falls off her chair, a drink spills, one decides it’s time for a poo and in the meantime, all I keep thinking about is the damn clock tick tick ticking it’s way closer to 7.30pm!
Finally dinner finishes, and it’s bedtime (I’ve already completed bathtime earlier while the pie was cooking just to save time) and Penny has an accident all over the floor on the way to the toilet. It’s now 7pm. I remember I’ve lent our mop to a friend so I get on all fours like cinder-bloody-rella and mob it all up with my hands.
Teeth time goes surprisingly well. I decide to skip brushing hair and go straight to book time. We are on track, just. It’s Annabelle’s time to choose a book. Big mistake, huge.
The old classic Black Beauty hardback gets pulled off the shelf. It lands on a toe. There’s a high pitched scream. My tinnitus reaches another decibel.
We are only two pages in and it’s now 7:24pm.
“Ok girls we will read the rest tomorrow, mummy’s got some important things to do,” (pour a wine, pick up the remote, schedule a recording, sit on the couch and indulge).
“Can you draw on my back, can you pat my head?” Feck! The shows are starting!! I draw some quick stars and moons, do four quick head pats and then I lie…”Mummy’s really got to do a poo, I might be a while, love you, good night!”
And then I’m off, like a bat out of hell, out of the bedroom as quick as a flash, I bolt into the lounge and get the show on the road. Someone’s calling my phone but I ignore it, I’m on a mission, and it’s the saddest bloody, most unimportant mission I’ve ever been on but I don’t care. It’s my time. It’s my indulgence. It’s my boring #mumlife.
Speaking of which, Offsprings about to start, my heart is pumping and I’m still writing this blog…. AGH! Gotta go…got a date with Nina.
(Disclaimer: No care for spelling or grammar was taken during the writing of this blog due to a tight TV deadline…sorry not sorry!)