When I was younger, I remember asking my mum what she wanted for Mother’s Day and every year she always had the same answer – “Time by myself away from you and your brother” What?! What did she mean time away from us? It was Mother’s Day! Why would she want to be alone?! So instead of course we would try and make her breakfast in bed, shower her with presents and book some crappy restaurant for an overpriced lunch with terrible service because it was the busiest day of the year!
Fast forward 25 years and three children later, I actually feel bad for ever doubting my mother’s choice in gift! I can completely understand the feeling of just wanting to be left alone! I love my children, don’t get me wrong. Yes, being a mum is the most amazing, rewarding experience of my life, but… I’m drained. So drained. Like, literally hardly any drops of me left, drained.
It’s a mammoth task to be responsible, every single day, for three little humans. Making sure they get up out of bed on time, eat, drink, dress, get to school and kinder on time. Nap long enough, eat the right foods, do their homework, go to soccer and dancing and swimming, play with nice friends, shower, bath, read them stories, get them to bed and then wake them up the next morning to do it all again.
And the noises…my gawd the noises… Muuummmm! Muuummm! Yelling from the oldest two because “she touched my things!!”, the ding of the washing machine as it finishes it’s cycle, the sound of the toilet flushing and having to run down before pants are pulled up to make sure the toddler wiped properly, the piercing sound of my own voice yelling because the TV is too loud, the springs in the sofa pinging because they’re jumping on the couch, more yelling to stop jumping, the iPad music blaring, the rustle of a chip packet they weren’t suppose to be eating before dinner, the baby crying, the microwave dinging, the phone ringing, notifications flashing… Arrgghhh! It’s all too much!
This is a bloody hard job. It’s stressful, it’s tiring, it’s repetitive, it’s unappreciated and some days my only escape, my only five minutes of peace (before they find me and start banging on the door) is to hide in the shower. Hide in the shower and have five minutes to hear my own thoughts, five minutes to sing a song without someone telling me to shhhh because “Nooo! I’m singinggggg it!!!” , or five minutes to occasionally have a little cry then pull myself together to hop out, smile, and start all over again.
I try hard to embrace the noise, I try not to notice the cries, the shouts, the dinging and the ringing. I try to just take them for what they are, a part of our house, our life, my families personalised “white noise”. But God knows I would give anything for some silence and sleep! Silence and sleep… I’m surprised I even know how to spell sleep seeming I literally haven’t had any for the past 6 years but hey, I also know how to spell one million dollars and….
Oh well, I trudge on… we trudge on… us mums. We’re an awesome bunch aren’t we?! None of us signed up for half the things we do on a daily basis… the cleaning, the cooking, the dress ups, the mediating, the counselling, the boogers, the vomit, the poo… I’m still wiping three butts! Four if I count my own!
So yes, there’s bad days, many stressful bad days, but the good days are good. They are really good and I really shouldn’t complain too much because one day these three crazy little humans will be all grown up and won’t want to jump on me in bed anymore, they wont want me to dress up like a fairy and sing the Trolls sound track with them… Before I know it their headphones will go in, their doors will be shut and I won’t be cool enough to play with anymore. Life will feel…still.
These three crazy little humans are going to be adults for much longer than they are children, I’m sure one day I will look back and miss the mayhem, the chaos, the yelling and the butt wiping… Ok, that’s a lie, I certainly will not miss the butt wiping!
(dreaming of a holiday far far away…..)